1 00:00:03,037 --> 00:00:05,415 Na-no, na-no. 2 00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:39,509 Hey, come on, honey. Your plane leaves in an hour. 3 00:01:39,533 --> 00:01:41,233 All set. 4 00:01:47,007 --> 00:01:48,185 Except for Mork. 5 00:01:48,209 --> 00:01:50,353 I wonder why he ran out at the last minute. 6 00:01:50,377 --> 00:01:52,822 Oh, honey, uh, Mork wouldn't miss seeing you off. 7 00:01:52,846 --> 00:01:55,725 After all, going to Topeka is a big deal. 8 00:01:55,749 --> 00:01:58,195 Yeah. Yeah, covering the Winter Week conference 9 00:01:58,219 --> 00:02:00,530 is a big deal. 10 00:02:00,554 --> 00:02:03,833 Who's gonna pick you up at the airport, a chartered tractor? 11 00:02:03,857 --> 00:02:05,202 No. 12 00:02:05,226 --> 00:02:06,303 No, it's important, Dad. 13 00:02:06,327 --> 00:02:07,971 Because Mr. Sternhagen at the station 14 00:02:07,995 --> 00:02:09,439 said if I do good on this assignment, 15 00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:11,174 he might give me a bigger one. 16 00:02:11,198 --> 00:02:14,177 Like City Hall, congressional scandals. 17 00:02:14,201 --> 00:02:16,379 Maybe even the Summer Week convention. 18 00:02:17,771 --> 00:02:20,950 Mind. Mind, Mind, Mind, Mind. Mind, Mind, Mind, Mind. 19 00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:22,685 Mind, Mind, Mind, Mind, Mind... Oh, Pop. Pop. 20 00:02:22,709 --> 00:02:25,155 Mind, Mind, Mind, Mind, Mind. Pop, pop. Pop, pop, Mind, Mind. 21 00:02:25,179 --> 00:02:27,724 ♪ Mmm, Mind-Mind Pop-Pop, mmm, Mind-Mind ♪ 22 00:02:27,748 --> 00:02:29,159 I bought you this wonderful gift. 23 00:02:29,183 --> 00:02:30,560 Since you're going to Kansas, 24 00:02:30,584 --> 00:02:33,563 I got a flea collar for Toto. 25 00:02:33,587 --> 00:02:35,098 Don't be afraid. 26 00:02:35,122 --> 00:02:37,800 There's no place like that. 27 00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:39,302 You're right. 28 00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:42,372 Oh, Mork, thank you. I'll pass it along. 29 00:02:42,396 --> 00:02:44,974 Okay, honey, I'll go, eh, warm up the car. 30 00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:46,476 The best way to do that 31 00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:49,812 is to blow in its carburetor and say that you love it. 32 00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:53,539 I'll do that, but I'll hate myself in the morning. 33 00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:58,755 Okay, Mork, now, I want you to pay close attention. 34 00:02:58,779 --> 00:03:00,023 We've got a lot of things to cover 35 00:03:00,047 --> 00:03:01,458 if you're gonna manage by yourself. 36 00:03:01,482 --> 00:03:02,692 Ho-ho. Come on, now, Mind. 37 00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:06,163 Scoff, scoff. Derisive laughter. Ha-ha-ha-ha. 38 00:03:06,187 --> 00:03:08,165 Manage by myself? Do you know who you're talking to? 39 00:03:08,189 --> 00:03:10,500 Yes. Oh. 40 00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:12,369 This is the can opener. Can opener. 41 00:03:12,393 --> 00:03:14,271 This is the coffee pot. Coffee pot. 42 00:03:14,295 --> 00:03:16,105 And remember what I told you about the blender? 43 00:03:16,129 --> 00:03:18,997 Turn it off. Don't just stand there waiting for it to flush. 44 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:21,044 Right. 45 00:03:21,068 --> 00:03:23,446 And remember the most important part. 46 00:03:23,470 --> 00:03:25,748 You turn it off from the outside. 47 00:03:25,772 --> 00:03:28,385 Oh. I wonder why my fingernails were getting shorter. 48 00:03:30,211 --> 00:03:32,722 Oh. Well, I gotta run. 49 00:03:32,746 --> 00:03:34,224 I'm gonna miss you, Mork. 50 00:03:34,248 --> 00:03:36,493 Well, you can't miss, Mindy, if you aim right here. 51 00:03:36,517 --> 00:03:38,662 Ha-ha. Mmm. 52 00:03:38,686 --> 00:03:40,430 Well, you have a good time, 53 00:03:40,454 --> 00:03:42,465 and I'll see you when I get back on Monday. 54 00:03:42,489 --> 00:03:43,933 Oh, you have a good time too, Mind. 55 00:03:43,957 --> 00:03:45,101 And don't you worry about me. 56 00:03:45,125 --> 00:03:46,369 I'm a superior being 57 00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:48,838 and I can handle everything. That's right. Okay. 58 00:03:48,862 --> 00:03:50,273 Arrivederci. Bye. 59 00:03:50,297 --> 00:03:53,643 Ciao. Auf Wiedersehen. Do svidaniya. 60 00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:55,400 Later, mama. 61 00:04:00,006 --> 00:04:02,319 ♪ Alone again ♪ 62 00:04:02,343 --> 00:04:05,410 ♪ Can't you see I'm alone again? ♪ 63 00:04:09,283 --> 00:04:11,394 Well... Heh-heh-heh! 64 00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:12,618 Yes. 65 00:04:15,556 --> 00:04:19,035 Ooh. Hey, hey, hey. Heh-heh. 66 00:04:33,307 --> 00:04:34,773 Ar-ar. 67 00:04:43,284 --> 00:04:45,444 Well, I guess I'll just have to peel it and eat it raw. 68 00:04:57,063 --> 00:04:59,576 Oh. I've gotta stop thinking about her. 69 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:02,467 No. I've gotta stop thinking about her. 70 00:05:03,236 --> 00:05:04,847 No! 71 00:05:04,871 --> 00:05:06,349 Oh. She's not even thinking of me. 72 00:05:08,008 --> 00:05:09,419 Lord, she got my psychic telegram. 73 00:05:09,443 --> 00:05:14,591 Oh, my darling! My darling... Oh, what a disappointment. 74 00:05:14,615 --> 00:05:18,895 You're no aurora borealis yourself. I came up to tell you 75 00:05:18,919 --> 00:05:21,698 I got a call from our landlord, Mr. Klevins. 76 00:05:21,722 --> 00:05:22,999 He's coming around later 77 00:05:23,023 --> 00:05:25,802 to install smoke alarms in all the apartments. 78 00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:29,339 Oh, no more smoke? There goes my chat with Chief White Eagle. 79 00:05:29,363 --> 00:05:31,007 What? 80 00:05:31,031 --> 00:05:33,075 You'd better get this place cleaned up. 81 00:05:33,099 --> 00:05:35,111 This Klevins is a real creep. 82 00:05:35,135 --> 00:05:38,970 He's bounced tenants for having crooked doormats. 83 00:05:41,208 --> 00:05:42,985 You really miss Mindy, don't you? 84 00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:45,488 Oh, no way. 85 00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:48,358 Well, where did you get all the pictures, Shiksa-mat? 86 00:05:49,583 --> 00:05:50,982 What? 87 00:05:54,287 --> 00:05:56,966 Listen, maybe it'd help to get your mind off Mindy 88 00:05:56,990 --> 00:05:59,035 if you go out with some of your friends. 89 00:05:59,059 --> 00:06:03,039 How about the two of us go out and paint the town pink, huh? 90 00:06:03,063 --> 00:06:05,141 I'm sorry, Mork, I can't. 91 00:06:05,165 --> 00:06:06,175 Why not? 92 00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:08,933 Because it sounds like a drag. 93 00:06:11,004 --> 00:06:13,271 And I thought he didn't like me. 94 00:06:24,985 --> 00:06:26,529 Hear that, Mind? 95 00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:28,264 They're playing our song, darling. 96 00:06:39,366 --> 00:06:43,145 You know, I... I love it when you wear that perfume: 97 00:06:43,169 --> 00:06:44,681 Janitor in a Drum. 98 00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:50,587 You can cure that with some fabric softener, you know that? 99 00:06:52,045 --> 00:06:54,257 Wait a minute. Wait. ♪ To have my arms... ♪ 100 00:06:54,281 --> 00:06:56,559 Oh, no. 101 00:06:56,583 --> 00:07:00,229 That can only mean one thing. Oh, he's here. 102 00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:03,966 It's him. It's the Orkan elder. What do you mean, "No"? 103 00:07:03,990 --> 00:07:06,969 It's the ancient one, the wisest of the wise. Stop it, it's him. 104 00:07:06,993 --> 00:07:09,071 Oh, no. Quick. Down upon your knees. 105 00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:11,496 Nice touch. 106 00:07:12,332 --> 00:07:13,877 Oh! 107 00:07:25,846 --> 00:07:28,447 Rise, Mork. Oh, sir. 108 00:07:37,458 --> 00:07:39,368 Don't be so formal, Mork. 109 00:07:39,392 --> 00:07:42,260 You know my name is Pbbbt. 110 00:07:44,230 --> 00:07:46,375 I came because it's my birthday. 111 00:07:46,399 --> 00:07:47,610 Oh, sir. Happy birthday. 112 00:07:51,004 --> 00:07:54,951 Pbbbt. Pbbbt. Pbbbt. Birthday. 113 00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:56,920 Very touching. 114 00:07:56,944 --> 00:07:59,722 Hard to keep a dry eye. 115 00:07:59,746 --> 00:08:03,626 I just wish the Orkan aging process wasn't reversed. 116 00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:05,294 It seems like every day I look in the mirror, 117 00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:08,364 I get a little bit cuter. 118 00:08:08,388 --> 00:08:11,100 Where does the time go? 119 00:08:11,124 --> 00:08:12,569 Probably the same place that socks go 120 00:08:12,593 --> 00:08:14,874 when you lose them in the dryer. 121 00:08:16,129 --> 00:08:17,474 Well, how old are you today, sir? 122 00:08:17,498 --> 00:08:19,241 In Earth years, 87. 123 00:08:19,265 --> 00:08:23,079 You know, that's amazing. If you were a dog, you'd be 14. 124 00:08:23,103 --> 00:08:26,148 I decided to treat myself and drop in to see you 125 00:08:26,172 --> 00:08:28,451 and especially the soft-lapped one. 126 00:08:28,475 --> 00:08:31,187 Oh, I'm... I'm sorry about that, sir, but she's out of town. 127 00:08:31,211 --> 00:08:33,923 Aw, shazbot. Sir. 128 00:08:33,947 --> 00:08:35,458 I'm sorry I missed her. 129 00:08:35,482 --> 00:08:37,861 They don't make laps like hers on Ork. 130 00:08:37,885 --> 00:08:39,562 Well, I probably could entertain you 131 00:08:39,586 --> 00:08:40,964 in the traditional Orkan fashion, 132 00:08:40,988 --> 00:08:42,888 if you wish to come with me. 133 00:08:48,128 --> 00:08:51,273 Oh, Orkan checkers. You go first, Mork. 134 00:08:51,297 --> 00:08:52,909 Oh, thank you, sir, for the privilege. 135 00:09:11,585 --> 00:09:13,429 Check. 136 00:09:13,453 --> 00:09:15,097 Checkmate. 137 00:09:15,121 --> 00:09:18,467 And I never even saw it coming. 138 00:09:18,491 --> 00:09:22,238 Oh, that's why you're the elder, sir. Oh, boy. 139 00:09:22,262 --> 00:09:25,207 You know, I kept thinking about the two of you down here, 140 00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:26,543 especially Mindy. 141 00:09:26,567 --> 00:09:28,578 She's different from us. 142 00:09:28,602 --> 00:09:31,915 I, uh... I know, sir. 143 00:09:31,939 --> 00:09:33,850 You know, sir, the last time you were here, 144 00:09:33,874 --> 00:09:35,685 you said you could build a Mindy. 145 00:09:35,709 --> 00:09:36,819 Can you? 146 00:09:36,843 --> 00:09:38,021 I suppose I could. 147 00:09:38,045 --> 00:09:40,946 I've got my genetic tool kit in the egg. 148 00:09:42,182 --> 00:09:43,693 What would you do with the one I build you 149 00:09:43,717 --> 00:09:45,562 when the real Mindy gets back? 150 00:09:45,586 --> 00:09:47,797 I could sell her to the Osmonds in case Marie gets trampled 151 00:09:47,821 --> 00:09:49,398 at a family reunion. 152 00:09:55,996 --> 00:09:58,741 Sir, are you sure you only need one hair? 153 00:09:58,765 --> 00:10:00,977 You'll have to make her head awfully small for this to fit. 154 00:10:01,001 --> 00:10:02,612 Of course. Didn't you learn anything 155 00:10:02,636 --> 00:10:04,047 in your Cloning class on Ork? 156 00:10:04,071 --> 00:10:05,915 I had to substitute Basket Weaving for Cloning. 157 00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:09,351 I was on an athletic scholarship. 158 00:10:09,375 --> 00:10:11,754 Now I need some information on Mindy's character traits. 159 00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:14,256 Oh, that's very easy, sir. She talks like this: 160 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:18,194 Hello. My name is Mindy, I'm a Capricorn. 161 00:10:18,218 --> 00:10:20,096 I like fuzzy things, happy people, 162 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:23,622 solar energy and whistling at construction workers. 163 00:10:25,726 --> 00:10:27,169 Um, turnoffs are gas-guzzling cars, 164 00:10:27,193 --> 00:10:29,105 cancer-causing agents, nuclear power plants 165 00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:30,539 and bathroom poetry. 166 00:10:30,563 --> 00:10:33,665 If I wasn't so modest, I'd say I was adorable. 167 00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:37,947 Excellent. Now, hand me the copovia clamp 168 00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:39,548 so I can adjust her IQ. 169 00:10:39,572 --> 00:10:40,783 Oh, yes, sir. 170 00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:42,384 Remember that she's quite intelligent. 171 00:10:42,408 --> 00:10:44,621 She has a college degree, and she knows about everything. 172 00:10:44,645 --> 00:10:45,955 Watering plants, driving a Jeep. 173 00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:48,546 She can even tie her shoelace without looking down. 174 00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:52,495 She's almost done. Oh. Oh, sir. 175 00:10:52,519 --> 00:10:55,331 Please remember she was wearing a... A pink sweater and jeans, 176 00:10:55,355 --> 00:10:58,001 and remember to put her nose right between her eyes. 177 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:02,639 Sir. Uh-oh, sir. 178 00:11:04,264 --> 00:11:05,808 Sir. She... She's ready, sir. 179 00:11:05,832 --> 00:11:07,409 Okay, okay. 180 00:11:07,433 --> 00:11:09,478 I may be old, but I'm not deaf. 181 00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:10,802 Oh, sir. 182 00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:16,819 Oh, sir. 183 00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:18,921 Sir, it worked. It's an exact duplicate. 184 00:11:18,945 --> 00:11:21,746 Of course. Talk to her. 185 00:11:26,987 --> 00:11:29,431 - Hi, Mind. Big kiss. - If you think 186 00:11:29,455 --> 00:11:31,567 I'm going to flex my orbicular muscle to osculate, 187 00:11:31,591 --> 00:11:34,192 you're sadly mistaken. 188 00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:37,707 What'd she say? 189 00:11:37,731 --> 00:11:39,842 No. Oh. 190 00:11:39,866 --> 00:11:42,679 This idle discourse fatigues me. 191 00:11:42,703 --> 00:11:46,049 Mind, come on, remember? It's me, your cute little Morky. 192 00:11:46,073 --> 00:11:48,384 Enough of this childish drivel. 193 00:11:48,408 --> 00:11:50,086 I need mental stimulation. 194 00:11:50,110 --> 00:11:51,788 Don't you have any books to read? 195 00:11:51,812 --> 00:11:53,556 No, I have some to color. 196 00:11:53,580 --> 00:11:55,391 Oh, never mind. I'll write my own. 197 00:11:55,415 --> 00:11:56,748 But... 198 00:11:57,751 --> 00:11:59,228 Min... 199 00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:01,820 Call me when you've evolved. 200 00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:09,638 Um, sir, I... I think you made her a little too intelligent. 201 00:12:09,662 --> 00:12:10,807 What happened? 202 00:12:10,831 --> 00:12:12,975 Well, sir, uh, meaning no disrespect, 203 00:12:12,999 --> 00:12:15,244 but I think you really orked up. 204 00:12:25,912 --> 00:12:28,524 Beg your pardon, sir, but what was wrong with Mindy's clone? 205 00:12:28,548 --> 00:12:29,992 If we were gonna have a battle of wits, 206 00:12:30,016 --> 00:12:32,895 I'd be an unarmed man. 207 00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:36,432 These Earthlings must be more complex than I thought. 208 00:12:36,456 --> 00:12:38,000 Oh, sir. Don't give up, please. 209 00:12:38,024 --> 00:12:40,302 Try again. I mean, I'm real lonely. 210 00:12:40,326 --> 00:12:43,305 Remember, sir. I mean, she... She's more the outdoor type. 211 00:12:43,329 --> 00:12:44,741 She's energetic and athletic, 212 00:12:44,765 --> 00:12:46,408 and she's not a spectator, she's a doer. 213 00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:48,077 This one will be right. 214 00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:51,047 An elder never fails... twice. 215 00:12:51,071 --> 00:12:53,872 Oh, bless you, sir, bless you. May your shoes always be loose. 216 00:12:56,042 --> 00:12:57,720 Oh. 217 00:12:57,744 --> 00:12:59,889 Tingling sense of anticipation. 218 00:13:01,915 --> 00:13:03,226 Oh. 219 00:13:03,250 --> 00:13:06,095 Sir, sir. 220 00:13:07,453 --> 00:13:09,120 It's happening again, sir. 221 00:13:14,161 --> 00:13:17,606 Ha! I think we got a hot one, sir. 222 00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:19,308 H-hi, Mind. Big kiss. 223 00:13:19,332 --> 00:13:21,732 Not now. I'm in training. 224 00:13:24,604 --> 00:13:26,749 That's real athletic and energetic, sir. Thank you. 225 00:13:26,773 --> 00:13:28,550 But, uh, how do you turn her off, though, sir? 226 00:13:28,574 --> 00:13:30,619 The deactivating button is on her foot. 227 00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:32,889 Oh, no. I'm not going near her without a whip and a chair. 228 00:13:32,913 --> 00:13:35,057 Come on. Come on. Two out of three, two out of three. 229 00:13:35,081 --> 00:13:36,961 Come on, come on. Hi, nice to meet you, Mindy... 230 00:13:38,084 --> 00:13:40,663 Mindy. Mindy. Ungh! Argh! 231 00:13:40,687 --> 00:13:42,999 Aunt. Aunt... Oh, uncle. Uncle. 232 00:13:44,024 --> 00:13:46,035 End of round one. Neutral corners. 233 00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:49,694 Wahhh. 234 00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:53,676 Sir, could you make the next one a little more loving, please? 235 00:13:53,700 --> 00:13:55,644 One less turn on the butch bolt? 236 00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:58,547 I'll get it. 237 00:13:58,571 --> 00:13:59,782 Oh, no, no, no. 238 00:13:59,806 --> 00:14:00,950 I hope it's Gore Vidal 239 00:14:00,974 --> 00:14:02,451 come to borrow a cup of aphorisms. 240 00:14:02,475 --> 00:14:04,153 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 241 00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:05,587 We can't let anybody see you. 242 00:14:05,611 --> 00:14:07,323 I opt to remain. 243 00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:09,859 I feel the need for social discourse 244 00:14:09,883 --> 00:14:11,593 on a much higher level. 245 00:14:11,617 --> 00:14:14,630 You have proved to me that Darwin was wrong. 246 00:14:14,654 --> 00:14:16,365 Uh, pardon me, 247 00:14:16,389 --> 00:14:19,168 perhaps we could find a harmonious resolution, 248 00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:22,771 um, by a conflict of intellects, i.e. a battle of wits, 249 00:14:22,795 --> 00:14:24,874 whereby the loser must forfeit an article of clothing 250 00:14:24,898 --> 00:14:26,508 and reveal a layer of epidermis. 251 00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:28,110 Ahhh. 252 00:14:28,134 --> 00:14:31,113 A strip debate. Ah, yes. If you catch my drift. 253 00:14:31,137 --> 00:14:32,315 Very well. 254 00:14:32,339 --> 00:14:34,450 Let's discuss the Cartesian dictum, 255 00:14:34,474 --> 00:14:36,618 "I think, therefore, I am," 256 00:14:36,642 --> 00:14:39,722 and how it relates to Kierkegaard's observation 257 00:14:39,746 --> 00:14:42,791 that a relation which relates itself to its own self 258 00:14:42,815 --> 00:14:46,162 must have been created by itself or created by another. 259 00:14:46,186 --> 00:14:49,498 Oh, fascinating. Whoosh! 260 00:14:49,522 --> 00:14:51,533 But, however, possession of extraneous literature 261 00:14:51,557 --> 00:14:53,469 constitutes a foul. 262 00:14:53,493 --> 00:14:56,138 Therefore, please remit to me your left pedal extremity. 263 00:14:56,162 --> 00:14:57,173 Oh. Thank you very much. 264 00:15:02,468 --> 00:15:03,645 Sorry, Mind. 265 00:15:03,669 --> 00:15:05,848 I'd have a very hard time explaining you, 266 00:15:05,872 --> 00:15:09,352 and you would have a very hard time explaining you. 267 00:15:09,376 --> 00:15:12,110 Oop. Sorry. 268 00:15:15,715 --> 00:15:17,693 Who is it? MAN: It's me, 269 00:15:17,717 --> 00:15:19,528 Al Klevins, the landlord. 270 00:15:19,552 --> 00:15:21,998 I'll be right there, Mr. Klevins. 271 00:15:22,022 --> 00:15:23,299 Oh, I have to tidy up. 272 00:15:27,394 --> 00:15:30,006 Hello. Hi, you must be the creep. 273 00:15:30,030 --> 00:15:34,110 Creep? I don't know you, and already I'm not liking you. 274 00:15:34,134 --> 00:15:37,446 Where's my tenant Mindy McConnell? 275 00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:39,081 Oh, she's in Kansas looking for a small dog 276 00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:42,118 at a midget convention. Ar-ar! 277 00:15:42,142 --> 00:15:43,585 Who are you? Oh, I'm Mork, 278 00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:45,709 the man who lights up her life. 279 00:15:46,813 --> 00:15:49,091 This place is a mess. 280 00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:51,635 I don't see how you could tell with all this junk lying around. 281 00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:55,798 I have no time for this chitchat. 282 00:15:55,822 --> 00:15:57,833 I gotta install this smoke alarm 283 00:15:57,857 --> 00:16:01,370 so that people like you won't light up my life. 284 00:16:01,394 --> 00:16:03,839 I'll put it here in the bedroom over there. 285 00:16:03,863 --> 00:16:04,983 Oh, if you ever hear this... 286 00:16:06,366 --> 00:16:09,067 put out the fire, then leave. 287 00:16:11,838 --> 00:16:13,904 Whew. Oh, man. 288 00:16:15,208 --> 00:16:16,885 Round two. 289 00:16:16,909 --> 00:16:18,821 That... That... That was a buzzer, not a bell. 290 00:16:18,845 --> 00:16:21,490 I'm gonna squeeze you like a tube of anchovy paste. 291 00:16:21,514 --> 00:16:22,791 No, no, no! 292 00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:25,261 You'll never take me alive. 293 00:16:31,057 --> 00:16:33,035 Sorry about that, Mind. 294 00:16:33,059 --> 00:16:36,238 Oh, boy. I've got them comin' and goin' here. 295 00:16:36,262 --> 00:16:37,974 Hold on a second. 296 00:16:37,998 --> 00:16:40,676 What are you doing, Rockette kicks? 297 00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:42,211 Is it time for a little yoga? 298 00:16:48,941 --> 00:16:51,687 Whew. Ooh. 299 00:16:51,711 --> 00:16:54,231 We should get a deposit on all these empties. 300 00:16:58,318 --> 00:17:01,497 Well, hi there, hot stuff. 301 00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:02,931 Big kiss. 302 00:17:02,955 --> 00:17:04,435 Mmmmm. 303 00:17:05,425 --> 00:17:07,836 Wha...? Huh! 304 00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:11,595 Listen, I asked for somebody warm, not a human hickey maker. 305 00:17:12,665 --> 00:17:14,510 You're cute. 306 00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:16,145 Today, boy. 307 00:17:16,169 --> 00:17:18,147 Tonight, man. 308 00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:20,983 Listen, I'm a very kind, innocent... 309 00:17:21,007 --> 00:17:22,551 Innocent little alien. 310 00:17:22,575 --> 00:17:23,685 Ooh. 311 00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:25,154 I'm not. 312 00:17:30,083 --> 00:17:32,194 Oh, listen, please. I-I wanna wear white at my wedding. 313 00:17:32,218 --> 00:17:33,862 Ooh. Oh. 314 00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:36,365 Why don't I slip into somethin' more comfortable, 315 00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:38,267 like skin? 316 00:17:38,291 --> 00:17:41,203 No, no, no, no, no. You... You... You can't go in there. 317 00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:43,539 Oh, try to stop me, blue eyes. 318 00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:45,629 Oh. Oh! 319 00:17:46,799 --> 00:17:48,032 Ooh! Ooh! 320 00:17:51,438 --> 00:17:53,049 By tonight, my darling, 321 00:17:53,073 --> 00:17:55,584 you'll be needing a lip retread. 322 00:17:55,608 --> 00:17:58,921 I'm going to drive you to China for Jewish food. Oh! 323 00:17:58,945 --> 00:18:01,890 I'm startin' to get to you, huh? 324 00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:05,027 Quick, fondle me with your eyes. 325 00:18:05,051 --> 00:18:06,295 Tell you what. Better than that, 326 00:18:06,319 --> 00:18:07,829 let's sip champagne from your slipper, 327 00:18:07,853 --> 00:18:09,265 eh, ma petite? 328 00:18:09,289 --> 00:18:13,436 All right, my scruffy rogue, but find it first. 329 00:18:13,460 --> 00:18:14,670 Oh, I'll find it for you. 330 00:18:14,694 --> 00:18:17,706 Ohhh, bingo. 331 00:18:17,730 --> 00:18:19,608 Oh. Eee! 332 00:18:19,632 --> 00:18:22,866 I will sip from no slipper before its time. 333 00:18:25,638 --> 00:18:27,583 Oh, let's make it a double. 334 00:18:29,775 --> 00:18:32,455 Phew. At least I found her turnoff. 335 00:18:32,479 --> 00:18:34,278 Up you go, my l... 336 00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:46,235 Oh, oh. 337 00:18:46,259 --> 00:18:48,226 Make room for one more. 338 00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:54,910 Oh, boy, you're stacking up like cordwood in here. 339 00:18:56,769 --> 00:18:58,314 Hey, you. 340 00:18:58,338 --> 00:18:59,615 Hello. 341 00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:02,406 What are you doing? Oh, just tidying up. 342 00:19:03,243 --> 00:19:04,886 I saw what you did. 343 00:19:04,910 --> 00:19:06,455 You put a person in there. 344 00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:08,890 I-in fact, it looks like Miss McConnell. 345 00:19:08,914 --> 00:19:11,127 It's Ms. McConnell to you. 346 00:19:11,151 --> 00:19:14,263 I-I'm gonna call the police. I-I'm g-gonna call the police. 347 00:19:14,287 --> 00:19:15,998 It's just an ostrich. Please. 348 00:19:16,022 --> 00:19:17,633 You're a murderer. That's what you are. 349 00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:19,602 No. No, please. You don't understand. No, please. 350 00:19:19,626 --> 00:19:21,003 Hello? Hello, operator? 351 00:19:21,027 --> 00:19:23,705 Get me the police. I want to report a murder. 352 00:19:23,729 --> 00:19:25,174 No, no, sir. No... Hi, Mork. 353 00:19:27,867 --> 00:19:32,314 Never mind. It's not as important as I thought. 354 00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:34,517 Miss McConnell. You're alive. 355 00:19:34,541 --> 00:19:37,486 Well, thank you. So are you. 356 00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:39,355 What's going on here? 357 00:19:39,379 --> 00:19:41,223 Yeah, but y-you can't be here. 358 00:19:41,247 --> 00:19:44,493 I just saw him stuff your body into that closet. 359 00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:45,561 Here, I'll show you. 360 00:19:45,585 --> 00:19:48,063 No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no! 361 00:19:48,087 --> 00:19:51,066 It's an ostrich convention here. You don't wanna disturb them. 362 00:19:51,090 --> 00:19:52,768 Look, I saw you put someone in there, 363 00:19:52,792 --> 00:19:56,305 and I'm gonna find out what's going on around here. 364 00:19:56,329 --> 00:19:59,775 All right! All right, Mr. Smarty-pants, 365 00:19:59,799 --> 00:20:00,942 you wanna know what's in there? 366 00:20:00,966 --> 00:20:02,511 Yeah. 367 00:20:02,535 --> 00:20:05,055 Okay, I'll show you what's in there. 368 00:20:06,372 --> 00:20:08,617 I'm opening the door. 369 00:20:08,641 --> 00:20:10,074 I'm reaching in. 370 00:20:12,378 --> 00:20:15,957 It's just your typical mop with jeans and a sweater. 371 00:20:15,981 --> 00:20:20,596 A perfectly logical explanation... sort of. 372 00:20:20,620 --> 00:20:22,531 I'm getting outta here. 373 00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:26,134 I-I-I can't... I'm getting outta here. 374 00:20:26,158 --> 00:20:28,136 Maybe I'll move back to the Bronx, 375 00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:29,993 where it's safe. 376 00:20:32,164 --> 00:20:34,543 What is going on here? 377 00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:36,778 Why does this mop have my picture on it? 378 00:20:36,802 --> 00:20:39,248 Well, that's... That's kind of hard to explain, Mind. 379 00:20:39,272 --> 00:20:40,816 I'll bet. What's really in the armoire? 380 00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:42,406 Mind, you don't wanna... 381 00:20:51,618 --> 00:20:55,085 Mork, where'd you get the dead Mindys? 382 00:20:58,324 --> 00:20:59,768 They're not dead, Mind. 383 00:20:59,792 --> 00:21:02,137 It's just my personal pile of perkiness. 384 00:21:02,161 --> 00:21:04,005 Ar-ar-ar-ar! 385 00:21:04,029 --> 00:21:06,442 Now, don't touch their feet, Mind. Touch their feet? 386 00:21:06,466 --> 00:21:08,277 I don't even wanna touch the armoire. 387 00:21:08,301 --> 00:21:09,811 What are they doing in there? 388 00:21:09,835 --> 00:21:10,812 The elder made them. 389 00:21:10,836 --> 00:21:12,180 The eld...? The elder's here? 390 00:21:12,204 --> 00:21:14,283 Oh, he's upstairs right now, cranking out some more. 391 00:21:14,307 --> 00:21:16,518 Oh, we gotta stop him. 392 00:21:16,542 --> 00:21:18,153 Up above, s... 393 00:21:18,177 --> 00:21:20,289 Sir. What's wrong? 394 00:21:20,313 --> 00:21:22,391 I'm a failure, Mork. 395 00:21:22,415 --> 00:21:26,094 An 87-year-old has-been. 396 00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:30,499 I tried to recreate a Mindy. I really tried. 397 00:21:30,523 --> 00:21:33,569 But all I could make were cheap imitations, 398 00:21:33,593 --> 00:21:36,372 like this one. 399 00:21:36,396 --> 00:21:39,207 Well, sir, this is her. This is the real McConnell. 400 00:21:39,231 --> 00:21:42,210 Please, Mork. Please, Mork. 401 00:21:42,234 --> 00:21:43,746 Don't humor me. 402 00:21:43,770 --> 00:21:46,682 Suddenly I feel very old. 403 00:21:46,706 --> 00:21:48,606 Awwww. 404 00:21:50,476 --> 00:21:53,756 The soft-lapped one. It's really you. 405 00:21:53,780 --> 00:21:55,457 Well, of course it's me. 406 00:21:55,481 --> 00:21:58,226 Uh, welcome to Earth, uh... Ugh. 407 00:21:58,250 --> 00:21:59,928 Um... 408 00:21:59,952 --> 00:22:04,266 What are all those, eh, me's doing in the closet? 409 00:22:04,290 --> 00:22:06,368 Oh, Mind, Mind, don't blame him. 410 00:22:06,392 --> 00:22:08,837 I asked him to make them for me because I really missed you. 411 00:22:08,861 --> 00:22:13,442 Well, I missed you too, Mork, but that's a little strange. 412 00:22:13,466 --> 00:22:15,744 I mean, they look just like me. 413 00:22:15,768 --> 00:22:19,047 That's just on the outside, not the part we really missed. 414 00:22:19,071 --> 00:22:21,183 I've learned a valuable lesson: 415 00:22:21,207 --> 00:22:24,286 Humans aren't toys to tinker with. 416 00:22:24,310 --> 00:22:25,521 Seeing you again 417 00:22:25,545 --> 00:22:28,424 is the best birthday present I could possibly have. 418 00:22:28,448 --> 00:22:29,758 Oh, it's your birthday? 419 00:22:29,782 --> 00:22:32,761 Oh, happy birthday. 420 00:22:32,785 --> 00:22:36,432 If I were only 30 bleams younger, 421 00:22:36,456 --> 00:22:38,434 I'd still be too old for you. 422 00:22:40,526 --> 00:22:43,038 Well, uh, what about all the Mindys? 423 00:22:43,062 --> 00:22:46,241 Oh, I'll take them back to Ork for scientific study. 424 00:22:46,265 --> 00:22:48,276 You can keep the one upstairs. 425 00:22:48,300 --> 00:22:51,112 Upstairs? You... You mean there's another one up in the attic? 426 00:22:51,136 --> 00:22:55,884 Yes, except she didn't turn out exactly as I hoped. 427 00:22:55,908 --> 00:22:58,053 Let me introduce you. 428 00:22:58,077 --> 00:23:01,211 Oh, Mindy. Mindy! 429 00:23:03,683 --> 00:23:07,451 Hi, Mork. Big kiss. 430 00:23:21,734 --> 00:23:23,245 Mork calling Orson. 431 00:23:23,269 --> 00:23:25,381 Come in, Orson. 432 00:23:25,405 --> 00:23:29,284 Mork calling Orson. Come in, Orson. 433 00:23:29,308 --> 00:23:33,154 Mork calling Orson. Come in, Your Jelly-bellyness. 434 00:23:33,178 --> 00:23:34,222 You like that one, Beebs? 435 00:23:34,246 --> 00:23:36,324 Does that tickle your fancy? 436 00:23:36,348 --> 00:23:38,360 I got a million of them. Ha-ha-ha-ha. 437 00:23:38,384 --> 00:23:41,096 And I've heard them all. Twice. 438 00:23:41,120 --> 00:23:42,564 Get to your report, Mork. 439 00:23:42,588 --> 00:23:44,266 Oh, yes, sir, Your Snippiness. 440 00:23:44,290 --> 00:23:46,902 This week, sir, I've prepared a very special report for you. 441 00:23:46,926 --> 00:23:48,437 I finally found out what distinguishes 442 00:23:48,461 --> 00:23:49,905 one Earthling from another. 443 00:23:49,929 --> 00:23:52,207 Funny. They all look alike to me. 444 00:23:52,231 --> 00:23:53,842 Oh, that may be true, mein hippodrome. 445 00:23:53,866 --> 00:23:55,076 But every person has something 446 00:23:55,100 --> 00:23:56,845 that makes him unique and very, very special. 447 00:23:56,869 --> 00:23:58,647 It's called a personality. 448 00:23:58,671 --> 00:24:01,517 Could you show me one? Well, um, no, sir. 449 00:24:01,541 --> 00:24:03,151 It's not something you could see or touch, 450 00:24:03,175 --> 00:24:05,554 but it's something that reaches out and touches other people. 451 00:24:05,578 --> 00:24:07,890 It's... It makes each one of them very, very, very different. 452 00:24:07,914 --> 00:24:10,392 Isn't that inefficient? Oh, you bet, sir, 453 00:24:10,416 --> 00:24:12,994 but that's what makes life on this planet so darn interesting. 454 00:24:13,018 --> 00:24:14,996 You see, sir, thanks to personalities, 455 00:24:15,020 --> 00:24:17,733 even the most identical twin is not the same. 456 00:24:17,757 --> 00:24:20,101 Even the shortest person can stand out in a crowd. 457 00:24:20,125 --> 00:24:22,003 They all may have the same number of chromosomes, 458 00:24:22,027 --> 00:24:24,372 but each person has his own designer genes. 459 00:24:24,396 --> 00:24:27,943 ♪ Ooh, la-la, na-no ♪ 460 00:24:27,967 --> 00:24:30,378 ♪ Ooh, la-la, na-no ♪ 461 00:24:30,402 --> 00:24:32,915 Until next week, sir, na-no, na-no.